Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
