took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
