i would punch a child for taco bell
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Enjoy the penises
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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