totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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