So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
