Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
