dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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