she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
