All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
