I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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