sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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