Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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