Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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