The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
