I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
