but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
