Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
