Small penises have feelings too.
i think i have two assholes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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