I hate all girls vehemently.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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