Got a toothbrush?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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