Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
