When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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