Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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