You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
