well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
