do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
