the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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