My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
