She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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