'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize