My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
