Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
