i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
