debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
