I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
