I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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