You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
