She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dick very happy bro
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
