i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
