Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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