So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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