yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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