1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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