butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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