No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
