His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
