So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize