my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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