What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize