I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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