you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
