Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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