remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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