the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
