Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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