im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The adults are the big ones right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I enjoy the company of your penis
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