The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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