Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
