Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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