So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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