Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
