I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
