How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
