I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
